Islam

Just like that particular bunch of goofy Christians who say that the King James Version is the only “real” Bible, Muslims say that the only true Koran is the one written in Arabic. Convenient, since some of them are obviously embarrassed by the calls to violence against “infidels” and the wife-beating. The main setback in Iraq---the one that we 21st century people never saw coming: Muslims shooting other Muslims...Sunnis and Shi'ites...because they happen to disagree on a few passages in the Koran. (I think most Presbyterians are nuts, but that DOES NOT mean I'm going to walk in during one of their church services and waste 'em with an AK-47.)

If any more proof is needed that Islam is an antiquated religion that keeps its subjects trapped in the 6th century, then just look at what’s happening in Pakistan. The Koran-toting, towel-head clerics are over there spreading the rumor among locals that the American-made polio vaccine, which is given mostly to kids by aid workers, is an “infidel vaccine” that will sterilize Pakistani children. I guess there’s an added bonus in this for the whacko clerics...when Pakistani children are maimed and dying from polio, they can still find some vague way to transfer the blame for that and the rest of their Turd-world problems to the United States. That’s how it always goes...the crazy Muslims say that they’d like to wipe America off the face of the earth, but it would actually be a real drag not having America to blame everything on. It has to be the fault of McDonald’s and America’s imperialism that most Islamic countries are filthy garbage dumps. It couldn’t be because of their archaic religion that hinders progress in the field of medicine and pretty much everywhere else as well. Oh, no!

Besides all that, Islam has another quirk: Violent or not, the Koran is poorly written. Try to sit down and actually read it, and those accustomed to the Bible will quickly begin to choke. Even after you get past the poor grammar, incorrect syntax, run-on sentences and non-sequiturs, you’ll find that there’s nothing there. It all boils down to the usual be-good-and you’ll-get-to-heaven stuff. Well, “good” by their definition, not that of modern civilization.

Atheists like to say that Christianity is also antiquated, and I’ll admit that a certain few of us are trapped in the 1700’s. Legalism irritates me so much! I think it’s a pain when people associate certain styles of clothing with their faith, as though denim jumpers are supposed to mean something in the afterlife. We’re not antiquated, folks! The Bible is timeless! Christianity is supposed to free us, not tie us down with ridiculous, non-Biblical dress codes. So you anti-jeans people can take your dresses, ties, leather shoes, King James Versions and shove ‘em, since we’re not Muslims!

More on the King James coming up soon.